“I should dress the way others expect me to look.”
This expectation originates more from society than from individuals. One’s social group often dictates how members of that group should dress and present themselves. Most of us want to be part of a group that represents something desirable, such as status, access to resources, or even the feeling of being accepted by others.
These pressures become strongest when one is younger. We might even put on a false front to be accepted. Or we spend a lot of money and time on social media chasing the latest fashion or physical makeover.
Societal expectations for body image can affect one’s self-esteem. Men, as well as women, experience messages about the ideal body image. These messages come from advertising, from social media, and even from just comparing ourselves to others.
Group Biases Are Expectations
The problem with identifying with a group’s norms for dress or personal physical characteristics is the exclusion of people who do not adopt those norms. Perhaps once people see themselves as belonging to a particular group, it may be difficult to resist seeing that group as superior to others.
In Escaping Expectations,”I often examined conscious and unconscious biases because of my identification (by myself or others) with certain groups. These biases are a form of expectations that I had been trying to escape.”
Accepting Ourseves Just as We Are
Fortunately, as we age, others’ views of us, especially our appearance, usually fade. We begin to see ourselves as accepted for who we are, rather than how we look or what we do.
And we begin to accept others not in terms of their appearance or group membership, but instead as unique and valuable individuals.
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